


Sugar, Spice and Eggrything Not Nice

by Grain_Crain



Category: Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six (Video Games)
Genre: Bad Cooking, Christmas, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-12 13:19:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16873626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grain_Crain/pseuds/Grain_Crain
Summary: The four operators try to cook something that seemed easy.





	Sugar, Spice and Eggrything Not Nice

**Author's Note:**

> This is a part of [Siegemas 2018](https://dualrainbow.tumblr.com/post/180398205713/siegemas-advent-calendar-event)!  
> An event that provides delicious fics and ficlets every day like your local advent calendar. Mine is a collection of four jelly beans infused with bourbon.
> 
> Thank you [kiki_92](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiki_92/pseuds/kiki_92) for beta/proof reading :)

The scenario shouldn’t have been anything of a drastic measure. For some reason, the catering team is unable to serve them on the week that includes Christmas and the Hereford base prohibits visitors without any prior notice. The pantry is full of groceries were bought a few a few week before, so the operators decided to cook the food before it perished. Some gladly volunteered to show-off their culinary skills and the others were asked to partake in the group effort. Much to Chul Kyung’s demise, his unfortunate bunch chose to make 15 litres worth of eggnog.

“So we have all the right ingredients,” Yumiko ganders upon the pantry and counts the necessities, “I guess we just need to figure out how to make this drink.” She smiles at her colleague which people would call ‘the usual four’, given how often they go out for a casual drink out together.

“I never agreed to any of this.” Masaru shrugs while keeping his eyes fixed on the phone in his hand. He scowls at the digital clock indicating 2100, not because he is missing out on a sleep but more on the notion of his personal time being wasted here. “How are we going to make something that we haven’t even tasted?” He isn’t wrong but does nothing to actually help out.

“We drink alcohol and we eat raw eggs. So how hard can it be?” Grace grabs an egg and cracks it open rather messily. The translucent goo slides down, following a satisfying yellow centre that people can’t seem to decide whether it should be runny or cooked. One thing for sure is that no one should pour bourbon to fill the rest of the cup. “See, nothing much to do! I am pretty sure this is what eggnog is supposed to be like.” She tips the cup into her mouth with brisk confidence, which seems to immediately falter as soon as the cold texture hits her tongue. The foolish bravado ends up in muffled gags and false barf.

“Spit it out.” Chul Kyung is quick to hold the bowl under her chin.

“I’m not a quitter.” And she gulps the concoction down. “Okay, so maybe that’s not it.”

“Just buy some from the shop.” Masaru comments while browsing a pre-made mixture on local market.

“You do realise that we need to eat all the food before it rots.” Grace spits out a tiny shard of eggshell that she missed to pick out. “How about you search up a proper recipe for us instead being a downer?”

“If that will be my only contribution to this mess.” Masaru rolls his eyes and Grace was about to step forward and strangle the laziness out of him until Yumiko intervened by stepping on his foot.

“江夏, 聞いて. (Enatsu, listen.)” Yumiko whispers as she leans and puts more weight on her feet. She raps out whatever that needs to be said in her native language and Grace grins at how Masaru’s annoyance is replaced with frustration. It’s the same face that he makes when he is ordered to produce ten more sets of yokai drones to be destroyed during their mock-combat. Such grumpiness reminds her of a helpless child who hates doing his homework.

“Come on. It’s going to be easy! Beverages are easier than cooking a full meal anyway.” Grace radiates prideful optimism. “If you really don’t want to cook with us, you can read out the recipe and be our taste tester.”

"Oh?” The man-child brightens up.

“Only because I know that you won’t be putting in a good effort, and you handle alcohol better than any of us here.” There isn’t a lie in what Grace has said but the subtle wink that she shares with Yumiko is an unspoken sense of unity to make a fool out of their stubborn colleague.

Cooking starts with positive anticipation. Yumiko boils and stirs a mixture of milk with spices and vanilla in a saucepan on low heat while Grace and Chul Kyung separates endless amount of egg whites and yolks in case they fail the first attempt in cooking the ‘prototype,’ as they call it. Rather than whisking yolks in separate bowl with sugar, Grace suggests to pour the yolk straight into the saucepan that has hot milk in it. Of course the yolk hardens and becomes a scrambled egg but Yumiko adds bourbon and more milk in to salvage a mistake that she can’t recognise. It appears runny so Masaru drinks a scoop and frowns at such odd texture and flavour.

“Tastes like sterilised egg soup. Can we please follow the recipe?”

They try again. This time, Chul Kyung is given a bowl to whisk yolks and sugar to make it supposedly fluffy. Hot milk is slowly added to the yolk bowl and then the whole thing is poured back into the saucepan to stir. Bourbon is added straight after and they boil the whole thing. Another scrambled egg smoothie. Masaru drinks again and shudders.

Third attempt. Same as before but this time they actually listen to the instructions. All finished with the proper procedure and it doesn’t taste any better. Not bad, but also feels more like sugary egg water with bourbon just floating around. Another try, still the same. One last try and they stop to think and save the ingredients. None of them knows what eggnog is supposed to taste like but they know whatever they are making is far from being pleasant.

“Enatsu,” Yumiko reads into the recipe, eyes wide in disbelief, “it says we need to let it cool for an hour before we add the alcohol.” Hence the blame game starts; Someone was either too hasty in adding alcohol, illiterate or too slow when stirring. In midst of semi-brawl and screeches, Chul Kyung scrolls through websites and writes down different recipes in four separate pieces of paper. He doesn’t have to say anything that will stop their argument. By simply sticking the papers on each of their reddened face, he shuts them up instantly.

“We can’t stay here forever,” he states the obvious, “but there are plenty eggs and other things. Make your own eggnog from the recipes I gave to each of you and we will follow whoever succeeds.” Seemingly logical and convincing. None of the three disagree but the conflict they had prior sparks competitiveness within them.  
“Not so lazy anymore?” It doesn’t matter which one of them sneered at Masaru. He is channeling his alcohol-fuelled adrenalin into whisking the damned yolks and nothing else matters other than victorious vengeance.

For the readers’ convenience, this story won’t go into the details of how grand their failures are. The essential detail is that Grace takes a sip out of a bottle every time she needs to stand still and stir, and Yumiko continues to burn the milk and somehow thinks extra dash of alcohol will correct whatever she is doing wrong. Masaru struggles to follow the new recipe because the man has already taken five shots of strong liquour. Ultimately they are becoming drunk off their knockers other than Chul Kyung who has been steadily making small samples. Then what good are samples when they aren’t being tasted?

“Hyung, I would drink those for you. I really would.” Grace pats on her fellow Korean and slightly sways. “But I don’t think my tongue can make a fair judgement.”

“You know why I don’t drink.” Chul Kyung shifts away from her.

“Sorry. We really have no excuse.” Yumiko’s voice comes from somewhere in the corner of a wall, presumably crouching down with her face buried. It’s a way to cope for her when she feels too dizzy.

“Just- just drink. No one will be coming in anyway.” Masaru chimes in as well. “Your secret will be safe with us. Well, if it’s much of a secret, that is.” Hardly reassuring, but Chul Kyung observes the state of his friends who are too tipsy to make a clear decision. The trials and errors may end horribly or be a success, and the only way to find out is for him to drink what he has made. Did he write down the instructions for the samples? Yes. Would he have enough time to write comments about each of them? Probably not but he hasn’t got any other choice either. After taking a deep breath, Chul Kyung closes his eyes, sculls the first cup out of four and writes down a brief detail on what he is tasting. He repeats the same for the other three cups and tries to hurry before the immense sense of exhaustion hits him like 72 hours night-shift without a break. He is done. Finished. That’s an excuse to rest his head just for a minute, and then after that he will probably have to move them out of the kitchen like their usual weekend nights when on standby.

* * *

 

  
He wakes up to the sound of footsteps clicking against the kitchen tiles. Out of panic, Chul Kyung check the time and bites his cheeks at the fact that he has slept for three hours.

“Holy shit, this whole place reeks of booze and milkshake.” Jack walks toward Chul Kyung, clearly acknowledging the state of the team. “Just how much eggnog have you had?”

“One,” Chul Kyung manages to point at the most decent sample out of all, “it’s this one. Only this. That’s the eggnog,” and falls back into sleep as some lightweight drinker would.

**Author's Note:**

> What Hibana whispered to Echo  
> 「これが嫌なら、おにぎり100個作れない？おにぎりだけじゃなく、あんたは全然料理しないでしょう？怠け者！」  
> (It's either this or make 100 onigiri. Have you ever made onigiri? I bet you haven't done any cooking in your life, ramen boy!)
> 
> [The translation is done by [lecielazure](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lecielazure/pseuds/lecielazure). He saved me from the atrocity of Google translate.]


End file.
